Thursday, March 13, 2008

Yet another 3 a.m phone call

I'm a little late weighing in the latest uproar on the campaign trail. But this post is so worth the wait, because what you have here is an actual phone transcript of a recent call between HRC and Ms. Geraldine. It's crazy how these things fall into my lap sometimes. Here's an excerpt:

HRC: So Gerry, I have a favor to ask.

Geraldine: Yes!

HRC: Yes? You don't even know what I'm going to ask you!

Geraldine: Yes, I'll be your running mate! Clinton-Ferraro. . . unstoppabablele!

HRC: Are you drunk?

Geraldine: Totally. . .12 pack of Old Style. . a bottle of wine--

HRC: Focus! Here's what I need. I need you to do an interview with a California paper for me.

Geraldine: LA TIMES! LA TIMES! EEEYAHH!

HRC: Uh, no. The Torrance Daily Breeze.

Geraldine: Ohh. The Times is a rag anyway. That's cool. Alright, give me the number. I'll call the reporter now.

HRC: Gerry, it's 3 a.m.! Wait til tomorrow.

Geraldine: 3 a.m? Fuck. What are you doing up so late?

HRC: Never mind that. Ok, so here's what I need you to say about Obama. Got a pen?

Geraldine: G'head.

HRC: Say, if Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And then, then say if he was a woman of any color he would not be in this position.

Geraldine: Wha? Whoa. Can't Bill do it?

HRC: No, and then add that he happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And what else. . say that the country is caught up in the concept.

Geraldine: This isn't going to go over real well.

HRC: No big deal. I'll just disavow you in the press, but only after an egregiously long time so it looks like I really agree with this.

Geraldine: You're gonna disavow me? Hill? Really?

HRC: Yes. Disavow, rebuke, and repudiate you.

Geraldine: Repudiate? What about renounce?

HRC: Um, I'll probably renounce as well. We'll have to see. So you in?

Geraldine: Well, I guess. But maybe. . .

HRC: Maybe what?

Geraldine: Maybe you should just step aside if this is what it's coming to. Do you really want to win this way?

HRC: AND DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO KICK YOUR ASS????

Geraldine: Ok, I'll do it. Jesus! Good night.

HRC: Good night, is right.

And that's the end of transcript. This liberal LOVES the Patriot Act and all the illegal wire tapping it affords.

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