Friday, July 14, 2006

The girls are at it again

>-----Original Message----->
From: America>
Sent: Friday, July 14, 2006 9:00 AM>
To: Israel
>Subject: What part of “do as I say, not as I do” don’t you get?

Blowing up Lebanon? Did I not tell you I’d send some special forces your way to get your guys back? Did you not see Munich? What if I can get you the same guys that got Jessica Lynch out?

Dude, chill the fuck out. Call me on my cell. Stat. And Spielberg is on the way.


P/S: Canada says you let your Ritalin prescription run out. Is that true?

>-----Original Message-----
>From: Israel
>Sent: Friday, July 14, 2006 9:15AM
>To: America
>Bcc: Italy, Japan, UK, Germany, Canada,
>Subject: RE: What part of “do as I say, not as I do” don’t you get?

Oh, WhatEVER. I’ve got one word for you: Iraq.

I’ll call you in hell..


PS: Tell Condi to lose my number. And ask her since when does sending a Vermont Teddy Bear work in quelling international firestorms??

>-----Original Message-----
>From: France
>Sent: Friday, July 14, 2006 10:15AM
>To: Israel
>cc: America, Italy, Japan, Canada, Germany, UK
>Subject: Drama Queen!

I totally thought you were just drunk when you said you wanted to start World War III last weekend at Germany’s G8 bash. I mean you had like three bottles of Chardonnay! And you still owe me a pack of smokes btw (I thought you quit!)

Come to Paris. We’ll all shop, hang out, get a massage. We can work this out, no?


>-----Original Message-----
>From: UK
>Sent: Friday, July 14, 2006 10:25AM
>To: America, Italy, Japan, Canada, Germany, Israel, France
>Subject: RE: Drama Queen!

Just got off the phone with Lebanon. Said Hezbollah will give up the soldiers if Tom Cruise will appear on Oprah with baby Suri.

Weird, right? America, can you make this happen?

>-----Original Message-----
>From: America
>Sent: Friday, July 14, 2006 10:36 AM
>To: Italy, Japan, Canada, Germany, Israel, France, UK
>cc: Lebanon, Syria, Iran
>Subject: RE: Drama Queen!

God you guys! Why do I always have to be the one to settle things down? What are you going to do if I’m not around! LOL!

I’ll see what I can do. Another world crisis averted. Sigh.

Read more email exchanges from the girls here.


Iwanski said...

Absofuckingly brilliant.

Anonymous said...

iwanski--- couldn't agree with you more on the brilliance of this one.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

forward this to Dubyah...he needs the help!

SarahReznor said...

i love these - LOL!

Trix said...

You, my dear, are a fucking genius.

Miss Browneyedgirlie said...

Absofringlutely hilarious!

Phain said...

laughing too hard....can't breathe...need...air...

Anonymous said...

You're a genius!

angelatee said...

If you guys think this is funny, you should see the inspiration for this--email exchanges between me and my girlfriends. Thanks for the kinds words ;-)

the shrewness said...

too fucking hilarious!

ReallyEvilCanine said...

Bravo! Encore!

Officially Fabulous said...

Fucking brilliant!
~Fab : )

Marc said...

You're amazing, what a fantastic post. Such brilliant creativity :)