Friday, March 03, 2006

If nations were a bunch of chicks

>-----Original Message-----
>From: Israel
>Sent: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:00 AM
>To: America, France, Italy, Japan, UK, Germany, Canada
>Subject: Who does Russia think she is?

I am so pissed! What is up with Russia inviting that
crazy fucker Hamas over? After what he’s done to me? I mean I knew she has this post-Cold War inferiority complex, not to mention she’s a fat ass and uglier than sin. . . LOL . . .but what is her deal?

How am I supposed to take this? Doesn’t she care?

-Israel

>-----Original Message-----
>From: France
>Sent: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:05AM
>To: America, Italy, Japan, UK, Germany, Canada, Israel
>Subject: RE: Who does Russia think she is?

Yes, Russia is fat. And drunk like 90 percent of the time. She’s been a mess ever since she lost that hottie World Domination to America.

Too much vodka, maybe?


-France


>-----Original Message-----
>From: Canada
>Sent: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:10AM
>To: America, Italy, Japan, UK, Germany, France Israel
>Subject: RE: Who does Russia think she is?

I think you guys are mean! Give Russia a break.


>-----Original Message-----
>From: UK
>Sent: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:10AM
>To: America, Italy, Japan, Canada, Germany, France,Israel
>Subject: RE: Who does Russia think she is?


Russia, shmrussia. I want to know how
America’s date with India went?

America. . . where are you? Give us all the juicy details you whore!!!!!!

And Israel, stop your whining. You are killing me!

Canada, go play hockey or something, will ya?


(just kidding Canada, I love you.)



>-----Original Message-----
>From: Germany
>Sent: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:17AM
>To: America, Italy, Japan, Canada, UK, France,Israel
>Subject: RE: Who does Russia think she is?

God, UK! Someone’s not getting any.

Can we get any cattier? Meow.


>-----Original Message-----

>From: Japan
>Sent: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:30AM
>To: America, Italy, Germany, Canada, UK, France,Israel
>Subject: RE: Who does Russia think she is?

I no understand.



>-----Original Message-----

>From: America
>Sent: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:40AM
>To: Japan, Italy, Germany, Canada, UK, France,Israel
>Subject: RE: Who does Russia think she is?


Sorry Ladies-

Just got in from India. It totally rocked! I’m wearing the same clothes as last night, so that should tell you something;-)

UK, I know you said I should hold out with India and not give in but I couldn’t help myself! India is so sultry, and that economy makes me hot! I fell right into bed! I probably gave too much, and will regret it later, but I’m a spur of the moment kind of gal.

Israel, cheer up. I’m sure it Russia didn’t mean anything by it. She loves swarthy guys as we all know. I’ll call Russia later and straighten things out.

I’ve got THE WORST hangover of my life. . off to bed now. . .

Kisses,
America


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are nuts...but in a good way!

Sarah Sweeney said...

After watching about 10 minutes of public access softcore porn last night, noticing most ads are "Asian Fantasies" and "Dragon Love" seeing the vapid look in these underage Butterflies makes me realize you're right on the yen with Japan's email. That dumb skinny fashion inclined slut.

SarahReznor said...

I no understand - HA! love it :) did you see engrish.com? i almost piised myself!

Iwanski said...

Brillant and funny

Lorraine said...

Sometimes I read stuff like this and wonder why I bother to blog at all. Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

>From: Japan

I no understand.

Ha ha ha, that's fucking hilarious! And so original! Because if there's any mention of Japan or Asians, then there has to be a joke about broken English, even though it doesn't make any sense in ur dumbass premise (why would a chick be friends with girls she can't communicate with?)

So, go fuck yourself racist. And you too "sarah sweeney" and "sarahrezor". And for the record, it would be "me no understand". Stupid bitch.

angelatee said...

Japan,

You're right on several points. Yes, it should be "me no understand." And it is thoughtless and racist to make fun of people different than me, at the very least it's lazy writing. When I read your comment I fought the urge to go back and edit the post. But that seems counter productive, and if that was what was in my head on March 3, 2006 when I wrote this, I have to keep it as is.

I stand by the premise though. It is funny. The nations aren't really friends in a strict sense--they're the G8 nations stuck together trying to work stuff out. My girlfriends and I fire emails like this back and forth all the time. We speak the same language, but believe me, there are times when we can't communicate.

Anonymous said...

i actually started to feel bad, but then i saw that you addressed ur response to "Japan". WTF? How the fuck do u know I'm Japanese? Or are all Asians Japanese to you??

Check your fucking head. A racist is someone who only thinks of race, especially someone who thinks of it subconsciously, like it's just something that's always in their head naturally. Racism is not about making fun of someone different from you -- we all fucking make fun of each other because we're all different, that's what life is about. It's only when you just focus on someone's race that you're a fucking racist.

There's a thousand ways of making fun of Japan? Fuck, you got their obsessions with Hello Kitty, their weird ass game shows, their crazy clothing, etc. These things have nothing to do with fucking race.

Alright, I've said my piece. I don't believe that you're a bad person. You just got some deeply ingrained bullshit buried in your head.

Peace out,
Not Fucking Japan

angelatee said...

I addressed it to "Japan" because the beginning of your post says, "From Japan." You cut and pasted it from the post, now I get it. They'll let anyone have a blog these, days. Geez.

Sorry for the confusion. No need to feel bad for anything. Thanks for stopping by, really.