New Jack City bloggers Sarah,Vanderbilt, Madison, Shitface et al, brace yourselves.
Yes, it is true. Chicago may be the Second City, but our drunken, overweight, and belligerent Irish Cop bagpipers are stunningly talented in comparison to NYC's drunken, overweight, and belligerent Irish Cop bagpipers.
I learned this while at Dugan's on Saturday, celebrating St. Patty's Day with my McPosse.Dugan's is a lone Irish Pub smack in the middle of Greektown, which in past, had been the place to go for cute NYPD officers in town to march in Chicago's weekend of parades. Even though my friends and I are probably too old (we're like Big Chill old for chrissakes) for this sort of revelry, we have a rep to protect. So we went. And anyway, who can resist a guy who asks for your "numba?"
This year was a bit anticlimatic. One friend almost found herself on the receiving end of a bitch slap from a bloated asshole Chicago cop wearing a kilt. There was just a smattering of NYPD, many of whom didn't look a day over 21.
For me, it was how-many-slimey-married-men-can-I-get-to-proposition-me day. I was wearing flashing shamrock earrings on loan from Harry Winston, that acted like creep beacons. One man, I was convinced, wanted to sell me into white slavery. The other, an Italian Streets and San superintendent, was trying to recruit me to be his goomad. When I told him he was cocksure, a word I don't think I've ever uttered out loud but when I get drunk I like to show off, he smiled and said he didn't care what it meant, just that I said "cock."
Next year I'm going Dublin. McPosse, start saving your shillings or whatever it is the Micks use for currency because we're going.