Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Would you believe me if I told you a baby gave me a dirty look?

Well it did.

About 45 minutes ago.

I was hoofing it from the ol' salt mines to Madison and Canal where I catch the ever luxurious and reliable No. 60. On the way, I saw a living, breathing Gap ad. A stray Mom and baby, perfectly coiffed and outfitted, apparently were lost on their way back to their River North loft. Or maybe they were just well-heeled homeless. Who knows. But they both looked miserable.

I don't know what the baby's problem was. But the mom looked like she was carrying around an accessory that seemed like a must-have at first, but was now kind of bored with it. Perhaps the baby picked up on this vibe, so the Christian thing to do would be to cut it some slack. The mom however. . .

You see this phenomenon quite a bit with Loop condo dwellers and their dogs. With their attention squarely on their iPod/Blackberry/cell, they let the dog shit all over the sidewalk during what is probably the poor dog's once-daily 60-second outing. I think I'd stump them if I stopped and asked them what their dog's name was. "Fi. . Spo. . Shit, just look at his tag, will ya?"

I can identify with people like these. I lose interest in stuff right quick too, but the difference is I'm currently not responsible for anything possessing vital organs or a soul.


SarahReznor said...

yep. i know what you're talking about. it's the puppy problem - it's gonna eventually grow up and be and turn into an obnoxious teenager.

Vanderbilt Ignoble said...

Maybe she was just babysitting? Maybe she didn't want it, but she's Catholic, so abortion was out of the question? Maybe the baby was an alien disguised as a baby, and the mom was a robot, thus helping the alien not stick out in our human world?

These are distinct posibilities.

t2ed said...

I like the faux mothers who just draw a face on a bucket and put it in a stroller so they can have a little attention while they walk.

That also works with a monkey, but passersby are too interested in the monkey.

Iwanski said...

Less baby, more classic rock hits.