Monday, May 14, 2007

Alexander Hamilton was hot

About 7 years ago I was in New York for a wedding when I walked by Alexander Hamilton's grave at Trinity Church and told my friend Jennifer that I thought Alexander Hamilton was hot. Why? I don't know. I thought it was funny. Later, hammered, at a hotel bar with the post-reception crowd I pulled out a twenty dollar bill and said to a girl, "Wasn't Alexander Hamilton hot?" She grabbed the $20, held it close to her drunken face, and said, "You're right! Alexander Hamilton was hot!" So what if we were looking at Andrew Jackson, aka "Old Hickory." They all look alike.

So why the Alexander Hamilton story? Because I'm a gigantic dork with next to no life, tonight I'm watching Alexander Hamilton's American Experience thingie and I'm super excited about it. And on Wednesday night? I'm going to find out the untold story behind the Spanish Inquisition, and maybe drink alone.

Go see the new movie Waitress with Felicity. It was adorable and I was glad I saw it until this morning when my boss reminded me the Writer/Director/The Vera-like Waitress Adrienne Shelley was the one who was murdered in NYC last fall. That made me sad.

Today at lunch I was in line at the CVS when this bum busted through the door, marched in, grabbed a T shirt and something else I couldn't see, and walked right back out, alarm be damned. The guy behind the check out shrugged his shoulders and told me he wasn't about to do anything. I then demanded I too get my stuff for free and started stuffing shit in my bag, urging others to do the same. Just kidding. I said, "That's awesome, good for him." and walked out with my purchased flavored water and $35 pack of gum.

On the bus home tonight I was captivated by this gent wearing a cap that read, "Jesus NOW!" My, my I thought, aren't we pushy? What if Jesus is busy (I don't imagine he has a ton of down time these days), and he's like, "My child, I will get to you when I can. Be patient." And this dude would be like stomping his foot and whimpering, "NO! JESUS NOW! NOT LATER, NOW!" What a jerk.

When Jesus Now got off at the train station, I scanned the packed bus and saw my friend KC's husband at the front holding on with one hand and trying to balance his bag with the other. Frustrated, I couldn't get his attention, so I called my friend and said, "Call Adam and tell him I'm on the bus!" She thought that was funny, but I was serious. I then told her I'd text her if I saw him making out with the driver.

10 comments:

t2ed said...

I love it when people get drunk and hit on their own money.

And I once saw a movie call Old Hickory's French Experience and I don't remember it being very presidential.

Iwanski said...

JESUS AT EXACTLY 3:43 PM TOMORROW!

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

JESUS EVENTUALLY!

Iwanski said...

JESUS ON ALTERNATING WEDNESDAYS!

t2ed said...

JESUS WHENEVER HE DAMN WELL GETS AROUND TO IT.

sunchaser said...

"They all look alike"

Hilarious! :)

dav said...

actually Old Hickory was Andrew Jackson (and he was an asshole). From the faint memory of my American history I'm thing Hamilton was a pretty good guy though he and Jefferson fundamentally couldn't get along.

oh and he was totally hot.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAH
i've always thought he was soo hot but no one agreed with me!

fietsbode said...

He was hot, all right! Definitely the youngest and hottest of the Founders!

al said...

He's so ugly! Thomas Jefferson is hot.