Saturday, October 22, 2005

I need a wife

Not to have sex with. That would require me being a lesbian, or at least a gal who wouldn't mind the occasional mouthful of, well another gal.

What I'm talking about is one of those wives who clean the apartment, do the laundry, pay the bills, send the birthday cards, and make dentist appointments. It’s the kind of shit you're supposed to do on Saturdays instead of sleep in because you were out the night before drinking yourself silly celebrating a friend's last night before moving in with her fiancĂ©e on the North Side.

I woke up at 10 which is still plenty of time to knock out some of the above. But I was out of coffee, so that meant I had to go to the coffeehouse. And I absolutely had to watch Phil of the Future before going to the coffeehouse, so that slowed me down even more. I walked past a Chicago Tribune box, and had to pick one up on the way to Cafe Jumping Bean, because a girl should always be on top of the news. And then once I was at the cozy and inviting Jumping Bean I had to sit down, read the paper, order a panini, try this amazing chocolate cake, all while pretending I didn't recognize some weirdo guy from a John Kerry campaign trip last fall to Wisconsin.

And then there's email. It doesn't check itself, now does it? And this blog, if I don't update it, who will?

It's been a busy, busy day.

So here it is 2 p.m. and I have leave in a couple of hours to meet friends to watch Game One of the World Series.

Maybe I'll just froogle a mail order bride. My last roommate and I once wished we could get an 18-year-old foster son to act as house boy, but this mail order bride thing might work better (no confusing DCFS paperwork.) There's plenty of room in the basement, I'll pay for some English classes . . . everybody wins.    


Neil said...

Why a wife? How about a house husband? This is 2005, after all.

angelatee said...

A house husband= in laws. No thanks. All one of those do-whatever-you-say wives needs is a pat on the head and some fresh hay.

hooizz said...

haha (although this may seem inapropriate) your comment reminds me of a quote that i heard regarding prostitutes - 'im not paying them for sex... im paying them to leave.' not sure who said it, but your comment about all of the baggage associated with maintaining a house husband reminded of the same type of sentiment.


angelatee said...

I don't worry much about appropriateness when it comes to writing on this blog. It's pretty much whatever pops in my head; a writing exercise if you will. Comparing a wife, subservient or not to a farm animal who needs fresh hay probably isn't very nice either. People who know me know what I meant. And it was funny, so fuck it.