Monday, May 29, 2006

Sorry Jen, didn't mean to trample ya

I now know how I would react when mob rule takes over a crowd. After just the teeniest tiniest bit of hesitation, I’ll go right along with the flow.

Yesterday I was part of that throng of stalkers hanging out by the Music Box to star gaze. I’ve had a long time love affair with Vince Vaughan (I started dating him in my head after JFK Jr. died) and was like, “HELL YEAH!” when my friend Jennifer called and asked if I was in for checking out our first big-time movie premiere. Janel (yes, she made the blog again) took no convincing to join us either. And as Jennifer we put it, we’ve been training all our lives for this moment, what with reading volumes of celebrity magazines, hours of watching EXTRA!, and sitting through Oscar telecast after telecast each year.

While we grabbed a bite beforehand (we needed some sustenance for all that pushing and shoving we were in for) we tried to list the stars we’d thought we’d see. Jon Favreau, John Cusack, David Schwimmer. . . maybe even George Clooney--Jennifer’s only-in-her-head boyfriend.

But what we got was that kid from Ed, you know that guy who’s in those new Mac commercials? And Rod Blagojevich—possibly the nation’s dorkiest Governor—was rightfully booed when he got out of his vehicle and tried to work the crowd. (Dude, you’re killing me enough as Governor. Stay out of my celebrity fantasy land.)

We did see what we really came for—Vince and Jennifer Aniston. And I want personally to apologize to Jennifer for that mad rush that almost swallowed the little gal up when she got out of her limo. But it wasn’t our fault. There wasn’t nearly enough cops to hold our insurgency back. I guess Don Rumsfeld must have coordinated the security.

When the crowd initially ran into Southport, Janel and I paused for second and looked at each other—Jennifer was long gone, probably making out with Vince at this point—and we shrugged and ran up with the rest of the herd.

As we watched some idiots climb up on an SUV to take pictures, Janel said, “They didn’t do a very good job controlling us, did they?”

I thought that was pretty funny.


Jennifer said...

He's not "only-in-my-head", dammit!!!

t2ed said...

The only thing that would have made this story better is if you had actually seen John Cusack.

I'd just start telling it that way to be on the safe side.