Monday, December 31, 2007

Let's get loaded and trash Emily Dickinson's house!

Who’s with me?

I did have plans tonight to ring in the New Year at a slumber party in the suburbs—perfectly appropriate for a 35-year old. But now I’m thinking we need to get on plane to New England and trash and hurl all over a dead poet’s house like these moronic teens.

What a bunch of turds, these kids. I would use more colorful language but I still have a bit of the holiday spirit left in me.

Growing up and honing drinking skills in the Midwest for us, meant throwing back beers in cornfields, behind nursing homes, on river banks, and on industrial waste dumps the EPA took 30 years too long to fence off. Just good, clean, honest, though likely cancer causing fun. As punishment, these kids should be forced to read the Iliad and the Odyssey, and maybe throw in some Chaucer for the jerks who thought to break into Robert Frost’s crib in the first place. And then, for added drama, they should throw the lot of them into a pit of boiling tar.

So we have just nine hours left of 2007. I have only one resolution—write more and drink less. . . at least until this latest hangover goes away. I guess that’s really two resolutions. But they go hand in hand, because would you believe I killed so many brain cells in December that I forgot I had a blog?

All the best in 2008, and I’ll be back soon!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was just researching junk for Emily Dickinson and this came up. I have to say though that nothing would serve her better than people trashing her house. Regardless of what all the "poetry experts" say, do you actually enjoy reading her work? Does it mean anything to you? It shouldn't because, plain and simple, it's bad poetry made by an even worse poet. Oh, you can say she was wise for her time. She looked ahead into the future. Her poems were incredible. All false. She was a troubled woman whose entire family died and had her heart broken because she didn't take action to get to know the man she loved. She spent her entire life in solitude, never venturing outside her own house. Perhaps this gave her more time to think. In reality, all those long, dark nights of no interaction with another human quite possibly made her insane. The only person she actually talked to regularly was the person who published a few of her poems in a newspaper and as you know, letters may be rewritten countless times so it says exactly what you want it to. The historians say she was brilliant only because she never gave off the insane vibe being antisocial as she was. Back to her solitude, there's only so much wisdom a person who lives an antisocial life can possess. A "dumb teenager" who is social will ALWAYS be wiser than a "brilliant poet" such as Emily Dickinson for one reason only. They face the challenges of everyday life. After they trashed that house, do you think they got away with it? They probably faced a good amount of trouble. However, they stood up to that trouble unlike that recluse Emily Dickinson who hid away from society's "cruel tortures" and wrote bad poetry which even now people insist is great. She's the "greatest American poet?" Don't make me laugh. She's a coward who couldn't face reality and as such, her poems only show the negativity of society rather than its actual greatness. Don't put those teenagers down. I doubt they were thinking of all this when they did the deed but overall, they did the right thing, putting Emily Dickinson in her place.