Tuesday, August 09, 2005

What's good enough for the Pentagon. . .

Last month’s terrorist attacks in London reminded me and my friends of the importance of having a plan if something of that sort happens in Chicago. It was time to dust off an idea we came up with after 9/11. Back then we didn’t wait for Tom Ridge to tell us that we needed to get our act together. And straightaway we knew that our plan had to have a name. . . a mighty good one at that.

Brainstorming time. Howzabout Operation Infinite Justice I thought? No, scrap that. Only Allah can meter out justice, infinite or not. And how can a few drunk chicks and their hangers-on even be so bold? This had to have wide appeal. Think Hollywood . . . think Patrick Swayze. .

Operation Red Dawn was born! (I knew watching that terrible 80s movie about a handful of teens single handedly defeating an invading Soviet Army was going to pay off one day.)

There’s a bit of seriousness to Operation Red Dawn. It does require that no one go near any rubble looking for each other if some maniac or maniacs decide to take a one-way trip to paradise via Chicago’s downtown. At Operation Red Dawn’s inception my friend Jennifer’s Little Italy condo was the central meeting place. Entry to our fortress required contributions of staples including cases of beer, frozen pizzas, Baked Lays, and magazines. We’d lay low, get loaded, have dance contests, and if the shit really started hitting the fan (our code brown) we’d just . . . O.K. I really don’t remember what we planned to do to be honest. But I’m sure it was good and probably had to do with us finding our inner wolverine and kicking some ass!

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