Wednesday, December 13, 2006

CTA and Metra, listen up!

After seven months of taking BOTH* the Metra and the CTA to get to work, I'm officially declaring myself Chicagoland's Queen of Public Transport.

Queen Angie is making a declaration. Enough already with the To-do lists announced over the PA. Seriously, I'm listening to music, or reading, or trying to keep from kicking every other passenger in the head. I'm too busy to do anything else.

According to the messages, I'm supposed to be watching for people hopping on the bus without paying, because when someone does that "we all pay." I'm supposed to move to the back of the bus. And I'm supposed to report anything suspicious. Or anyone partaking in "unusual" activity. I've lived in Chicago for 10 years, I really have no concept of "unusual" anymore. I'm not supposed to leave my bags unattended, but apparently a certain Metra conductor, who's too concerned with chatting up the ladies, can leave his unmarked black duffel sitting at the top of the stairs for several minutes until Queen Angie walked up to him and called him on it. What else does the PA tell me? Oh, I'm not supposed to talk loud on the phone, I can't play music, I can't solicit, I can't gamble, I can't eat or drink, and I can't assault a passenger, conductor, or driver.

That's it, I'm hopping on the bus tomorrow for FREE, then I'm punching the driver with one hand and eating a turkey leg with the other. I'm gonna leave my bag at the back of the bus, and while I'm talking LOUDLY on my cell phone I'm going to walk to the front of the bus, panhandle a couple of folks, and start a game of craps on the floor.

Just watch me.

*It's ok to think I'm crazy and/or feel sorry for me.


Anonymous said...

You're just crazy funny!!! Good luck with the Turkey leg and all. Move to the burbs and you can deal with rush hour traffic... CTA, Metra, not that bad????

Anonymous said...

If they let people solicit, I'll bet they'd have a lot more riders. And it would probably make the people watching more entertaining too.