Wednesday, November 23, 2005

And speaking of talentless, anorexic whores. . .

Anyone up for throwing Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff into the mouth of an active volcano?

I caught their shameless performances last night on the American Music Awards. I was hoping for Lohan’s sake she was just drunk, wandered on stage thinking she was in a karaoke bar.

In a word, brutal.

Maybe I’m just out of touch considering I’m old enough to have been either of the girls’ unwed teenaged mother. I think if I asked though, my 14-year-old niece would gladly kick their scrawny asses. I asked her father what she would do if she heard a Lohan or Duff song. He said she wouldn’t be very happy.

On a related note, God appeared to me last night and said he wished celebrities would stop invoking his name in their acceptance speeches. I asked why. He said obviously he has a lot on his plate now and hasn’t the time nor the interest to steward the careers of these freaks.

8 comments:

SarahReznor said...

i'm up for the volcano thing if you throw in Paris Hilton!

'p' is for profound said...

the hilarys and lindsays i can deal with. it's paris hilton that i can't stand. talentless, ugly, good for nothing...

angelatee said...

Ladies,

Paris Hilton is more than worthy of getting pitched in with her contemporaries. You guys have to carry her up the volcano though. I can handle Hillary and Lindsay.

Beers are on me afterwards. Do you think we'd win a Nobel Prize or some sort of UN accolade for this selfless act?

Marcia said...

I bet if we tried, we could get together an alphabetic list of female, publicity hungry celebs who should be thrown into an active volcano. I'd start with Anna Nicole Smith, then Bai Ling... I'm a little concerned about Z, but I think we could find someone...

angelatee said...

Bogota, Columbia it is!

The Galeras Volcano must read this blog. It's spewing ash and stuff as I write this.

It'll be the best $1016 any of us will spend this holiday season.

SarahReznor said...

i can take the hilton. and her ugly ass dog. and her stupid monkey. and her retarded boyfriend (i've been to greece - he's fug!) anybody else?

t2ed said...

Don't forget to toss TO into the "Volcanic Mouth of Doom" as well.

How do people get famous for being famous anyway?

Justin K. said...

The one thing Paris has going for her is that she did porno. Seriously, that's why people are fine with her. Every time she is on TV or she is selling some product, guys look at the screen, then each other and say "i saw her naked". Funny how that works, huh?