Sunday, April 23, 2006

What brings you to see Road Angel?

Plot: Angie goes to her hometown for the weekend to attend her nephew’s 16th birthday party. She and friends Mr. and Mrs. P have dinner after the party and make plans to go out for a couple of cocktails–just a few as Angie has to get up early to return to Chicago and the Ps need to be responsible homeowners and plant flowers or whatever.

Cast (in order of appearance)
Angelatee----------Angie
Kimpee----------Kim
Jeffpee----------Jeff
Drunken Motorcycle Dude--------Butch
RitaEmm----------Aunt Rita
Lisatee----------Cousin Lisa
Ronniedee-----------Cousin Ronnie
Jimmydubya-----------Cousin Jimmy
Chardonnay, cigarettes, beer----------Hangover

Angie, Kim, and Jeff have well surpassed "just a few" and are belly up at the third-to-the-last bar of the night.

Enter stumbling, drunken motorcyle dude

Butch: AHHH. WHATTHEFUCK. WHATTHEFUCK? WHAT. .. . THE . . . FUCK. Ahhhhhgrrghhh

He sits down on the stool next to Angie

Angie: Hi!

Butch: Do you know how to drive a Harley? (hiccups)

Angie: No.

Butch: Wellwhythehellnot? What the fuck?

Angie: Ok. (she turns back to Kim) I bet you 10 bucks if we go the bar across the street (the scary one with motorcycles lined up out front) I’ll be related to at least one person.

Kim: Let’s go.

Jeff: Let’s go.

The trio leave and cross the street coming upon several, very pleasant bikers out front of the bar where Angie is convinced she’ll find her kin.

Angie: Good evening gentlemen!

Bikers (in unison): Good evening!

They enter the bar where they’re immediately struck by the number of patrons crammed inside and the not-so-lovely ladies suggestively dancing on the bar, unsightly bulges spilling to and fro. Angie spies a familiar face.

Angie: AUNT RITA!

Rita: ARASHDY DHGIH BLUP GOOHIN! (Struck by seeing her niece, she’s beyond words.)

Angie: Yes, Aunt Rita, yes. COUSIN LISA!!!!!!

Lisa: Hi. It’s been a long time. Ronnie’s here.

Angie: COUSIN RONNIE!

Ronnie: I love you!!!Ahhhhh! (Gives Angie a big hug. Aunt Rita grabs her and tries to dance)

Rita: GHOSDKH BLOOOTH GAAARBLE? HERTHU CLOP DLAOOG?

Angie: I’d love a cigarette, thank you. No I don’t think that cowboy is cute. I’m not really into cowboys all that much. Let’s do a shot!

Angie purchases four shots of tequila and brings them back for a "family shot." Her cousins and Aunt thank her profusely. Angie, Kim and Jeff leave for one last bar. At the new bar, a band is entertaining the crowd. Jeff and Kim go to shake their money makers on the dance floor. Angie is at the bar. A man approaches her as her back is turned.

Jimmy: So what brings you to see Road Angel?

Angie: COUSIN JIMMY! (They hug) What’s a Road Angel?

Jimmy: It’s the band. I thought the name was really cheesy so Jackie and I came out. Hey, we’re moving to Chicago. (Jimmy is a brilliant artist and his girlfriend is finishing graduate school)

Angie: (at this point she has caught whatever was ailing Aunt Rita) You have to shake the dust of this crummy little town off your feet and SEE THE WORLD!

Jimmy: (realizing she stole the line from It’s a Wonderful Life) Merry Christmas, Movie House! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, Old Building and Loan!

Jimmy exits. Enter hangover.

THE END

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! I finally found out what happened saturday night.

Nikki said...

Is this what led to the 2:45am phone call Saturday night or should I say Sunday morning from your cast member Kimpee?

SarahReznor said...

wow... i really have nothing to say to that... cool.