Monday, November 13, 2006

So it's true then

I held my own Iraq study group over the weekend. It was just me, and I held it on my couch yesterday, hungover, watching the McLaughlin Group. The study group lasted from approximately 12:22 to 12:27 CST. I poured over zero documents, interviewed zero military experts, and spent zero tax dollars and have come to following conclusion:

This country is run by a bunch of boobs and weinies. The biggest boob--President Bush--and his friends decided (before 9/11, which we knew then) that Saddam had to go to make way for a Baghdad Barnes and Noble and Wal-Mart, a.ka. democracy. Boob and the other boobs thought it would be like really easy. Maybe a month or so of shock and awe, and everyone back to Crawford for some quail hunting and keg stands. The Democratic weinies in Congress, paralyzed with the fear that the pro-war boobs would call them babies, back a war they knew was wrong. They would later lie and say they believed the lies Bush told them. No one really believed the stories about WMD though, it just kind of made people feel better about what they were doing. So how can a bunch of boobs and weinies clean up this mess?

I don't know. That's when my Iraq study group went back to bed. I have a feeling the real Iraq study group won't fare much better.

I do have to say I'm a little disappointed that Rumsfeld is gone. After he chastised Pentagon reporters a few weeks back, telling them to "relax" in the face of their questioning, I wanted to create T-shirts that say "RUMMY SAY RELAX!"

But I never got around to it, and now it's too late.

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