Minutes of sleep I had last night: 126
Hours spent marinating my brain in Pinot Noir and Marlboro Lights prior to getting such a paltry amount of shut-eye: 5
Large cups of coffee consumed this morning to counteract the above: 3
Times a meathead coworker irritated me to the point that I wanted to kill him: 65
Moments when aforementioned meathead coworker was told to shut up by yours truly: 64 in my head, 1 out loud
Instances when I pitched rambling idea to boss because I was still kind of drunk: 1
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