Someone needs to change Brit Hume's batteries

Let's settle this once and for all.

9/11 is Monica Lewinsky's fault.

I stayed home all weekend (10 glorious hours of sleep each night) and this morning I felt so great, so refreshed, I decided I could handle Fox News. And I'm glad I did, because I wouldn't have wanted to miss one second of Chris Wallace interviewing Bill Clinton.

Wallace, a giddy little twit, opened up the interview saying (and I'm paraphrasing), "geez Mr. President, I'm soooo surprised at this, but we got a TON of viewer emails asking me to pose the following question to you: Why were you such a wimpy loser who wanted to be Osama's BFF instead of killing him like a big strong manly Republican would?"

Bubba freaked. He then opened up a can of hillbilly whup ass on him, and when Wallace started giving him the "Why are you getting so upset?"routine, it got worse. Seriously, how could he not want to choke Wallace (uh, cuz I'm sure he could take him) when as Clinton said after 9/11 and everything since, "We have a President who thinks Bin Laden and Aghanistan is 1/7 as important as Iraq."

Here's where Monica comes into play. Remember when the story broke right about the time the movie "Wag the Dog" came out? Clinton reminded Wallace that when he ordered cruise missiles to hit Bin Laden and his squad's training camps in Afghanistan, that Republicans flipped out and said Clinton was trying to deflect attention from the afternoon delight Monica offered up, because they are so oddly fucking obsessed with sex. No one was saying, heck we've got a serious threat here and we're getting behind you.

Thusly, Clinton stopped. And shame on him for that. If only he had chosen a different mouth, imagine how the last several years would have played out.

So this all, humorously I think, is about a couple of blowjobs that the Republicans will never EVER get over.

As for Clinton and the Democrats: Please stop getting mad, and start winning elections.

I'm begging you.