Monday, February 05, 2007

Global Warming, Please!

Chicago, you are making it really hard for me to love you today.

If you're wondering what kind of jobless, carless idiot would have chosen to go out in this nightmare and walk 8 blocks to the coffee house, just scroll up and take a look at the header art on this blog.

What was I thinking?

It is so cold, if you dare breathe the air directly in your lungs you will find yourself coughing, no gagging, like a 13-year-old girl who took too big a hit off her cousin's water bong. It is so cold, that one false move can cause a single thread of your scarve to shift, thereby destroying your carefully constructed shield and leaving you vulnerable to death at the corner of 18th and Bishop. It is SO COLD that your glasses become completely frosted and you are convinced they are going to crack and stab you in both eyes, leaving you blind and vulnerable to death at the corner of 18th and Bishop.

All I need is five more degrees, and I'm going to make a break for it. Otherwise I'm stuck at this coffeehouse until Friday.

6 comments:

Bob McCarty said...

I designed the 2007 CHICAGO ‘Feels Like 35 Below’ GLOBAL WARMING SWEATSHIRT™ as a humorous way to counter global warming arguments as Chicago temperatures reached deep into the freezer. You can read about it on my blog -- www.bobmccarty.wordpress.com. Enjoy -- and stay warm!

SarahReznor said...

i love how it "feels like" 20 degrees lower!!! sorry hon, it's not great here either!

my word verification is Ytart...

Nikki said...

Do you need a ride home?

Angie T said...

I love how they have the balls to tell us it's "fair" Like you're going to die, but at least you're doing under a cloudless sky.

Iwanski said...

It's so cold outside.

How cold is it?

It's so cold, I saw a squirrel using the eternal flame in Daley Plaza to thaw out his nuts.

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